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krinkshame:

Real talk, if I were a woman I would NOT date a dude that gets screaming mad about video games, or sports games that they aren’t participating in

racial:

racial:

might fuck around and drink the daily recommended amount of water

i have to pee

nurse-peach:

hello kitty doesn’t like xanax or knives or blood or any of those awful things your post with her! she likes apple pie, baking cookies, and her friends and that’s that!

kitty:

AAAAAAAA PLAY WITH SOUND AGAIN OMG MY HEART

bidoof:

scene i’ve been imagining a lot lately: guy orders a big mac from mcdonalds and asks the person at the counter “hey how do you eat this?” and the cashier says “you bite off a piece of it and chew it and swallow it” and the customer says “i see…just like at the other mcdonalds”

robloxgf:
“local blogger denounces evolution because monkeys just be ugly
”

robloxgf:

local blogger denounces evolution because monkeys just be ugly

the-black-backed-gull:

asthebelltolls:

huffylemon:

image

One time, I had a dream that I was making peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, and most of them were the regular measurements in cups and stuff. But at the end of the recipe, instead of saying “2.5 cups of chocolate chips” it said “627 chocolate chips.”

So when I woke up, I made some peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. And instead of measuring out chocolate chips, I counted them (and suffered a lot of odd looks from my family for it).

Well, it turns out that 627 chocolate chips is the amount that the recipe called for (2.5 cups). Not only that, but 627 was the exact amount of chocolate chips that we had left in the house.

Forbidden knowledge was granted you that night

cincosechzehn:
“ positive-memes:
“The hero we all need
”
OP, how could you not include his other great works?
”

cincosechzehn:

positive-memes:

The hero we all need

OP, how could you not include his other great works?

image

i-have-no-gender-only-rage:

fursonaformula:

i-have-no-gender-only-rage:

welcome to mcdonalds, would you like to try our new McOof? It’s just when the workers insult you ruthlessly without mercy

this post’s fursona is a yellow rat with a god complex 

am i being attacked by a furry bot

ungarmax:

me, dumping a load of freshly washed but unfolded laundry on my bed: boy i’m sure gonna be pissed about this when i want to go to bed

kerosene:

Clowns For Christ 2004